How Dare You

Why Blog if you can't stand the blogs of most others? The urge to write. Most Blogs aren't blogs at all...blog is short, I'm told, for Web Log. "Captain's Log, Stardate Whateverthehell..." is an audio diary. It's a diary, people. It informs you about what's going on of a day. Diaries are to share your thoughts...but really, who but you or the closest to you are ever expected to read it? I don't want to know your most intimate thoughts, though! Who the heck does?? Don't you dare tell me that blogging like that is to keep your family informed about your life in an accessible way -- I seriously doubt you ever shared your high school diary with your mom, so don't do so decades later.

Blogs I Hate: Today I woke up cursing the sky because my period started. Walked my very expensive, highly bred dog while eating a bran muffin because sometimes I have bowel issues. Put on my Chanel suit and drove to the office in my 2010 BMW, stopping by Starbucks for a triple latte and a quick visit to the ATM where I withdrew $500 because I plan to get wasted this weekend and that's expensive. My job sucks and I'm better than this and my boss is a total chode. My nose is running. I love my boyfriend -- he's superawesome and does me regularly in crazy ways that I'll discuss in full detail later, just you wait. My nieces and nephews are the brightest, funniest children in the world and you'll hear all about them, too. I hate my dad because he beat me relentlessly as a child and I hate my mom because she let him. I'm going to pour my issues out in front of you, though I pay my analyst thousands of dollars a year for the same privilege. Et cetera.

Blogs I Enjoy: Hello, world. Here is what I think about [random thing]. I'm not here to convince you of anything, I'm not here to argue with you. I think I convey my ideas well, and hope you do, too, whether you agree or disagree. Please enjoy.

So, dear reader, whomever you may be...this I vow: I may bitch about my job, I may bitch about my life, but if you're expecting superpersonal things, this ain't the place. Writing is cathartic, in general, and for me personally. Stay tuned.