Stranger in Paradise

The sidewalks were crowded. I had never seen so many people. I couldn't remember what time of year it was. Where were they all going? They appeared to be comfortable, dressed in shorts, tank tops and sundresses, but I couldn't figure out why, because I was quite chilly. None of them would look at me. Well, they did, but quickly looked away and kept walking. A few of them stared, just long enough to laugh as they passed by. I didn't know what was so funny; I was just an old lady looking for a friendly face.
I thought I could find some warmth indoors. I turned around to face the wall behind me. It wasn't a real wall; it was a windowed wall with a door. I pushed the door open and heart cowbells clanging. I stepped back to avoid the stampede, but the bells were attached to the door. I walked inside and found a world full of color and light. There were no white tile floors like home; there were no dirty moss green carpets or curtains like there were at home. These colors were bright and cheerful and full of life – not like home.
I wandered along rows and rows of beautiful patterns. I couldn't resist touching them. My hands glided across the corduroy, satin and velvet textures. I pulled a purple-sequined cloth around my head and neck. I thought for just a moment that I was a gypsy. I imagined myself with big gold hoops in my ears as I whirled among the patterns – paisley, stripes, dots and plaids, multi-colored, multi-shaped beads and bows, feathers and glitter. I threw a gold-beaded wrap over my shoulder, dashed giddy, free and young-at-heart – a gypsy dancing madly in a wooded glade. This amazing place – this playland – made me happier than I had been in years.
"Can I help you?" a young lady said. I turned around quickly, startled by her question.
"Oh, I'm looking for a mirror. Does this place have one?"
"Yes, of course. Are you all right?" she asked me.
"Fine. I'm much warmer now," I answered.
"You must be," the young lady smiled, "Your dress is unbuttoned, you know."
"It is?" I stared at her. She led me to a mirror to prove it to me. I slowly stripped away my gypsy costume – I didn't look as much like one as I thought after all. Now I knew why all those people had laughed at me. I saw my reflection. An old lady, pale and worn, the glitter streaked through her grey hair. My dress, the blue and white pinstripe, beltless, with the entire front gaping open. My mouth hung open, too. "You'll catch flies," my mother used to say.
I remembered how I got there. I remembered leaving home. I had wanted a breath of fresh air. I just wanted to take a walk by myself. I just wanted to be free.
"Mrs. Drennan!" a voice called, "There you are!" It was Emily. She had come to rescue me.
Emily grabbed my hand. "Mrs. Drennan, you had us very worried. You are not to run away ever again!" she said.
"I didn't run away! I didn't!" I scanned her face, hoping for a smile. I didn't think I had run away.
"Well, thank goodness you're not hurt. Are you all right?"
"Of course I'm all right. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"
"It's time to go home," Emily said quietly.
"Oh, no! I don't want to go home. It's lovely here. See? Don't you see the colors and prints? This is a wonderful place I've found." I couldn't believe she was taking me back. I had found a haven – a paradise. She was going to take me back to all those strange people and strange things. To me, whatever this place was, it wasn't as strange as home.
Back home. I wondered how I ever ended up there. Some of the strange people screamed, some of them stared at you, but most of them just sat there, lifeless. They scared me. I didn't want to be like them. I didn't want to forget what the outside world was like. I didn't want to forget this place. I didn't want to forget…
"It's nearly lunchtime, Mrs. Drennan. Here, let me help you with your dress," Emily said.
She buttoned my dress and led me out of the store. I cried silently; I looked as stupid as I felt. I was a silly old lady – the kind back at home – the kind I feared. I wanted to go back into the beautiful place I had left. I wanted to be a gypsy again, but knew I could not.