Abuse

Any good therapist would say: step away from men who abuse you. So I ask myself: why do I keep watching the Atlanta Braves?

Excuse List (let’s see how well I answer myself)
1. I made them do it. (FALSE: I don’t have that kind of power.)
2. I like to be hit/cat-called. (FALSE: I cry easily)
3. They’re only going to do to me what I allow them to do. (TRUE)
4. Why would I watch/go to games if they’re going to treat me like that? (Is that answerable?)
5. If I want to hit like a man, I ought to be hit like a man. (Wow. Can’t make this one funny.)
6. I must have done something to deserve it. (PLAUSIBLE)
7. I disrespected them. (TRUE…but they disrespected me first.) (Nyah nyah-nyah nyah nyahhhhh)
8. Some women know how to push their buttons, and so they “just snap.” (Again, don’t have that kind of power.)
9. Why would I wear revealing clothes if I didn't want negative attention? (Quit lookin’ at me, Matt Diaz.)
10. Some women think you don't love them if you don't hit them. (COMPROMISE: hit FOR me, not AT me)

I know nothing of the misery of, say, Chicago Cubs fans, so I should shut my yap right now. But. A 12-0 loss to the Diamondbacks last Saturday and I sat through every last second. Really. Then Jekyll & Hyde sets in: great win Sunday, great loss Monday, great win Tuesday…we’ll see what happens tonight. Bottom line: I love ‘em. Baseball is a ton of fun, and I enjoy rooting for the home team. I’m going to keep going back, no matter how much they hurt me.